The best thing about watching the Oscars in today’s day and age is Twitter. Just hours ago @JLosNipple and @AngiesRightLeg joined us on Twitter…I live for this stuff. And—judging from the countless style critics I follow on Twitter—my best-dressed list won’t come as a surprise. 

Two red dresses and three white ones: that pretty much sums up the red carpet at the 2012 Oscars. I do wish there was more colour to choose from other than the sea of Las Vegas metallic numbers—yes, I’m looking at you Meryl Streep (it was Lanvin and didn’t hate it), J.Lo, Clooney’s arm candy (in Marchesa—ugh), and Miss Piggy (girl likes her sparkles). Sadly, there was no Tilda, Cate, Keira, or Carey. And, sadly, no one wore Calvin Klein this time around.

This girl obviously hates colour, but it’s working for her…for now. I can feel the yawns forming already. 

With the cape, she was number one. Then she took it off…and it just became a white dress, slightly bordering on bridal. But it’s the cape and the ponytail that really did it. Not bad for Tom Ford, who hasn’t had a red carpet hit in a long time.

Tadashi Shoji has been dressing Octavia Spencer for most of the red carpet events in the past year. He is a really great and very underrated designer that obviously knows what looks great on a woman’s body, regardless of the size. Don’t get me wrong: Octavia has a great body, but it’s not a body that most designers are dying to dress (um, like Karl). The way embellishment was handled to meet at the waist…lovely.

I’m usually not a huge fan of strapless gowns as they tend to look princess-y but when there is a silhouette this elegant and on a woman with a cute little pixie cut, it’s delightfully chic. I should note that I love the peplum silhouette as it works on many different figures, from petite to curvy—it also looked lovely on Tina Fey.  

I couldn’t believe how many people criticised the bow, saying it was too big. Please, like a bow can ever be too big! Some also remarked that it was too referential to Nicole Kidman’s red Balenciaga gown from a couple of years ago. Newsflash: bows have been around for a while. Plus, other than Bridesmaids gals, Zach Galifianakis, the bromance between Jason Segel and Bret McKenzie, and Christopher Plummer (and his purple velvet tuxedo), Emma was the best thing about the show.

Runners-up: Jessica Chastain in Alexander McQueen (wish it wasn’t strapless), Glenn Close in Zac Posen (love the tuxedo jacket) and Judy Greer in Monique Lhuillier.

Yawn, whatever: Natalie Portman in vintage Dior (looked kind of juvenile), Kristen Wiig (enough with the beige, please), Angelina Jolie in Versace (posing hard, Victoria Beckham style).