Good morning Gossip Girl devotees! I’m away on my honeymoon in Turks and Caicos with my very own Chuck Bass (well, sort of, but he does have an affinity for bow ties and pocket squares). But no worries, fellow fashion blogger and Gossip Girl aficionado, Solo Lisa, gleefully jumped in to provide you with this week’s round-up. Sassy, isn’t she? Enjoy!

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Blair was busy! Getting admitted into Hamilton House (“it’s so exclusive it makes SoHo House look like the Halfway House”), filming a fake girlfight, taking down Juliet at Fashion’s Night Out, surprising Serena with a fully decorated bedroom (roomies!), ripping into Eva (played by Clemence Poesy) at Carlos Miele…I’m tired just listing her extracurricular activities.

Granted, it’s only their first day at Columbia and B needs to fill the time until midterms roll around. None of this would be possible without Dorota helping her though. Who knew Dorota had a knack for decorating or that she was so handy with a camera and Internet live streams?

Blair didn’t take one fashion misstep this entire episode (and I’m not just saying that because I love her). Her Gucci leopard dress is one part rarified young lady and one part rawr. And she has the Mulberry Alexa! No wonder Juliet says “I don’t know who’s more excited now that you’re in the House: the girls who want to borrow your clothes or the boys who want to take them off.” If I were one of Blair’s Hamilton House sisters, I’d be dying to rifle through her wardrobe too.

Gucci Pre-Fall 2010 leopard dress
Noir bracelet

Mulberry ‘Alexa’ Bag
Courtney Crawford platform pump
Compared to B, S was only so-so. I’m not digging the tribal fuchsia-tinged ensemble she wore on her first day of school (too many patterns), but that’s passable compared to the denim vest with armholes cut down to her navel and the chocha-baring skirt she wears when she confronts Juliet about the keys. Did I miss something in the episode where Serena spends the night with Dan? Did she steal Vanessa’s clothes for the walk of shame? Aside from the heels and the Mulberry bag it looks more appropriate for NYU than Columbia.
Diane Von Furstenberg batwing silk dress
Stephen Dweck black agate bracelet

Siman Tu cuff

Motif 56 ‘Salma’ belt

Nancy Gonzalez python tote
Pierre Hardy sandals

Current/Elliot Anchor vest
Robert Rodriguez top

Missoni skirt

Fendi for Ekseption studded cuff

Jean Michel shoes

Every Gossip Girl episode needs a high-profile social function where the characters confront each other and/or a takedown occurs. This time it’s Fashion’s Night Out, the perfect opportunity to name-drop labels (Alexander McQueen, Tory Burch) and insert designer cameos (Lily air-kissing Diane von Furstenberg). Lily always looks great, but her necklace really stole the show here.

Reem Acra Pre-Fall 2010 gown
Aurélie Bidermann heart beaded necklace
CC Skye ‘Triple Cobra’ bracelet

Kotur snake clutch
Juliet’s takedown has so many twists my head is still reeling, fake girlfight video and all. After being exposed as a liar who blacklisted Serena and abused her privileges as Hamilton House’s keymaster, she’s stripped of her membership and becomes the new social pariah at Columbia. But at least Juliet has Nate by her side, who finally has the cojones to tell Serena off. And what does Serena have? This horrible black-and-white gown with blue sequins and too much cleavage.
Jenny Packham F/W 2010 dress
Raphael Young sparkle pump
Poor Blair. Chuck chooses a blonde wide-eyed innocent over her. I know there are Eva fans out there, but frankly she bores me. I want my Favourite TV Couple back together and Eva is in the way. Clemence Poesy needs to go back to the wizarding school from whence she came. B like S has been crossed in love, but at least she can take comfort in sequinned Valentino perfection.
Valentino Pre-Fall sequined tunic dress
Badgley Mischka necklace

Giuseppe Zanotti shoes
Nate should’ve found his cojones sooner so that he could’ve lent them to Dan during the whole Georgina debaucle. But Dan needed more than balls to get through this mess—he needed to have more than two brain cells to rub together. Can you believe his reaction when Rufus told him he wasn’t Milo’s father? “Why would Georgina do this?” Because she’s Georgina, that’s why. Duh! Speak of the devil, Georgina returns from the spa and finally explains Milo’s origins, a story which involves a Sergei, an Oksana and a whole lot of big henchmen named Boris. Thankfully that’s all behind her now and she’s ready to take the baby off Dan’s hands before he becomes a candidate for MTV reality show Teen Mom.

This episode left a lot of plot holes to explain. I still don’t get where/how/why Georgina learned Russian. Did Gossip Girl know that the “livestream” girlfight video was fake and was she in cahoots with S and B the whole time? When Chuck confessed his sordid past to Eva, did it make poor Eva want to get tested for venereal diseases? And why is Juliet plotting with a convict? Writers, you have some explaining to do.

You know you love me

xoxo,

Solo Lisa

PS. Special thanks to Instyle Magazine and CW.