This week we learned that dirty uncle Jack has magical powers over women. So much so that they would betray their own children. I’m intrigued to know what these powers are: I suppose they are coming from inside his pants. We also learned that all models are evil and that they like to drug and take advantage of little virginal fashion designers. And also that everyone gets a second chance in fashion (‘tis true, just ask Marc Jacobs).

And with that, Jenny finally gets something else to do other than being a drug mule. Even Rufus approves, so much so that he let his sixteen year-old daughter leave the house looking like an expensive Eastern European prostitute. We can’t blame her. Girl’s gotta work it to compete with Serena’s magical boobs for Nate’s attention.

Blair’s mom returned this week for Eleanor Waldorf Designs’ (loved Eleanor’s “Feed the masses, eat with the classes.”) pop-up show for her junior line, enlisting Blair to handle the guest list. You’d think someone like Eleanor Waldorf would have a powerful PR person handling these things (perhaps the same person that invited Amy Astley from Teen Vogue)? So Blair returned to her awesome scheming this week by hiring high-end Valentino wearing escorts (“prostitutes are people too”) to attend her mother’s fashion show (I’m sure it has happened before in real life. Roberto Cavalli’s clientele often looks very suspicious to me).

Blair, in her new role as a fashion show pimp, showed up dressed to kill in a gorgeous Isabella Tonchi tribal print dress. That dress even helped her acquire some Columbia minions. And remember, when it comes to headbands, “the bow goes on the right.”

Isabella Tonchi dress tribal-print
Stephen Dweck necklace
Amedeo cuff
cut-out ankle boots

Christine A. Moore hat
Proenza Schouler coat
Oscar de la Renta blouse
Elie Tahari skirt
Hue tights
Chanel bag

Meanwhile on a totally different show, Serena gives Vanessa some crappy relationship advice. V takes it because, as we know, S is really successful in all her relationships. And Dan must be a really heavy chair napper because Vanessa somehow managed preparing a full-on lobster dinner and give herself a Grace Kelly makeover without him even noticing. Grace Kelly aside, Vanessa’s other outfit was nothing short of amazing. That sweater, that Matthew Williamson (who I hear is a big fan of the show) silk watercolour blouse, those necklaces… I’m loving Vanessa this season.

On Serena:
Helmut Lang Chrysalis Top
Stephen Dweck Serpent Cuff
On Vanessa:
Cynthia Steffe sweater

David Aubrey green bead necklace
Gara Danielle turquoise necklace
earrings from the show’s costume department